For Ray

When I was a freshman in college, one of my roommates was a small shy red-haired boy from central Indiana named Ray McCarty.  He was an only child and adopted by his parents later in their lives.  Ray was a brilliant Architecture student, continually amazing his teachers with his talent.  It was unusual for him not to work through the night even on the smallest projects.

I pledged a fraternity the first quarter of that year, and convinced Ray to rush in the Spring.  It was a major challenge for him because, like me, he was not outgoing, athletic, or a real stud . . . all the things fraternities are searching for.  And sadly to me, he didn't feel like it was a good fit in the beginning.

And then.

His pledge class had a talent show.  We kidnapped Ray and knotted his large red afro into tiny little ringlets, like Alfalfa in The Little Rascals.  Dressed only in a pillowcase and beads, he opened the show by performing and lip synching to "Lady Marmalade." ("Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir.") And Ray rocked the house!  I will always remember that there were many guys literally rolling on the floor laughing.  Instantly he was one of the gang.

Just a few months later, Ray got cancer.  He chose to stay at school studying what he loved, but he moved away from the fraternity.  A few of us would visit him from time to time, but we were uncomfortable, and I have always felt that we neglected him.  I saw him a week before he died, however his parents had a very private funeral and we weren't invited.

I have been praying to Ray a lot lately.  I pray for forgiveness and understanding.  I pray that he is designing beautiful buildings and receiving all the praise that he so justly deserves.  And mostly I pray that he still has that huge red afro bouncing to Lady Marmalade.

I'll never forget you, Ray.