Dreams

Just as I began a nap yesterday, God decided it was more important to have a tree removed next door.  Second only to a bomb or a rocket lift-off, there aren't too many things louder.  So I smilingly took the hint, got up, and . . . yes . . . watched Oprah.

It was then that I realized God had another plan.  This episode was about people with cancer and the lessons they are learning.  These brave guests on her show have serious afflictions and know they are going to die.  Their messages were powerful and extremely thought provoking.

Among the great words of wisdom were to live each day filled with what is important.  Have integrity and be a good person.  Help others.  Love.  But the message most important to all of them was to do the things you've always wanted to do.  One man's quote was, "Rarely do we look back on our lives and regret the things we did.  We regret the things we didn't do."

After the show, I sat and tried to think of things I have always wanted to do and haven't yet accomplished.  It wasn't easy.  I'm not one of those people who wants to sky dive, climb Mount Everest, or snorkel where no man has snorkeled before.  There is nothing appealing to me about the earth coming towards me at warped speed, and being face to face with fish creeps me out. I'll leave those to other dreamers.

I've never taken a cruise.  I've never been to Mount Rushmore.  And I've never been skiing. None of them seem appealing enough that I feel the urgency to accomplish them.

And then I started to wonder why I don't have a big dream, and I believe the answer is because I was faced with fairly certain death in the late 80's.  There was absolutely no reason that AIDS wouldn't take me just like all of my friends.  Doctors gave me a few years.  And like Oprah's guests yesterday, I decided dying wasn't as important as living.  Since then, I truly believe that almost every decision in my life has been based on that.  I have never been afraid of taking a risk.  I also recognize that it has been a blessing that I don't have a family, unlike most others, and have always had the freedom to move.

I went back to that list of things I have accomplished in life.  I recommend everyone make one.  It always cheers me up.  If there is something missing on your list, then by all means, make a decision to attempt it.  As I study my list, I will admit that I would someday like to be published, having written books, plays and short stories.  Someday I hope to write something worthy of a press.

A huge positive affect on me right now is the book I am currently reading, "LEAP! What Will We Do with the Rest of Our Lives?" by Sara Davidson.  That, combined with her workbook will help me tremendously with new goals.

So I will continue to dream and make a new list.  It was a good lesson I learned yesterday.  Move on from the list of accomplishments and on to a list of dreams.  Dreaming is so good.