When Sick, Laugh

Tuesday I went skipping into the hospital for my last chemo treatment, but they wouldn't let me have it because my body was not healthy enough.  I was not worthy of the poison.  Before they even took my blood, the nurse said she could see that I was not well.  After 27 years of poison injection, she has a real sense of her victims' worthiness.

I never know if it's my red blood cells, my white blood cells, or my unique and glorious chartreuse blood cells, but one of them is out on the town and not doing their job this week.  The bottom line is that I am fatigued enough that I think I might try injecting Red Bull.  The breathing problems are also back, so I'm "quite the sight on the sofa tonight."

So I decided to make myself laugh.

I found an old file on my computer that contained a list of funny quotes I have heard over the past several years.  Here are a few . . . . 

My friend Nancy used to always say, "Some people say the glass is half full.  Some people say it is half empty.  I say, 'Are you gonna drink that?'"

When my nephew was young, my sister asked him the name of Jesus' father.  He said, "Verge."  "Verge?" she asked.  "Yeah, my teacher keeps talking about Verge 'n Mary."

In the same vain, when my cousin was small, she came into the kitchen crying that she had fallen and hurt her holy ghost.  Her mother asked where her holy ghost was.  In making the sign of the cross, she pointed to her head (The Father), her heart (The Son) and her shoulder, the Holy Ghost.

I was talking to my sister one time about how neat she is around her house.  She casually said, "Yeah, I'm so anal, it hurts."

Oscar Wilde once said, "Try everything once, except incest and folk dancing."

And here are a few of my favorite anonymous quotes:

"Veni, Vedi, Visa -- I came, I saw, I did a little shopping."

"I killed an ant in my kitchen last week.  Now none of my relatives will come visit."

"What if the Hokey Pokey is really what it's all about?"

"Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana."