We are all born with different passions. What is it that moves someone to risk his life, probably his fortune, and a good bit of his office vacation on the side of a mountain? Why are some drawn to black bears? Sword swallowing? White water rafting? Or even extreme sports?
It must be the danger involved. Danger must be an adrenaline rush for many people. The LA freeways are dangerous. French fries are dangerous. But eating McDonalds on the 405 does not excite me.
So here is my question. When these risk takers are confronted with other challenges, let's just say normal life conflicts like . . . oh, maybe cancer . . . does that also give them a rush to tackle it? I pose this as a serious question. Here is one of the reasons I ask. There are many parts of my recent experience that have somewhat invigorated me. I am learning a lot about a new subject. In so many ways, it makes me a better, stronger person. I am discovering many things about myself and my body, both physically and psychologically, and I get a face-to-face look at the modern advances in healthcare. Later, I can help coach others.
Am I getting a small taste of what they feel? Accomplishment, determined spirit . . . lightheadedness?
Yesterday I was stretched out inside a CT scan machine pondering all of these deep thoughts. There's not really much else to do except ponder. Ponder and panic if you're claustrophobic. And I thought, "This is an experience I'm actually glad to have. I know what it's like to be injected with radioactive materials and then put under a microscope." (And by the way, I had to stay away from pregnant women and children for 12 hours.)
I don't say all of this lightly. Perhaps there is a small part of a daredevil in me after all. It's kind of exciting to find my way down from this mountaintop when forced to do so. I wouldn't have chosen it, but most of the greatest things I have learned in life did not come from situations I would have chosen. We all stretch ourselves in various ways, and I so much commend those who do it to extreme. The greater the difficulty, the greater the reward.
That being said, you can keep your parachutes and bungee chords. I'll stick to my Adriamycin.
3 comments:
Your blog today Bill was perfect for what I'm going through. It felt like you were a fly on my wall of life. I'm stretched so thin in this fundraiser, Mac and Mac, my family, helping others and trying to balance everything, I am more than frustrated and emotional. Sometimes it feels like I am trying to move a mountain with a tablespoon. I am not the risk taker that you wrote about as far as difficult physical challenges, but maybe I am a risk taker when it comes to social challenges. After reading about how you deal with challenges, I thought about what makes it easier to handle my challenges. I will drive 5 minutes to Stafford Lake and play " It's not the Time," calm down and put life in perspective.
I am totally with you on your blog. I am definitely not a risk taker. I have had the adreline rush you were taking about it. It may sound stupid but when I see concerts and the band that I really like goes on stage I get that rush. Sometimes for me when you talk about challenges it is hard for me to look at perspective where so many things are happening. But sitting back looking back at life and realizing what a wonderful life we all have but makes life better. Thanks for brightening my night.
The more I read your blog Bill, the more I think we may be sharing the same brain? I thought I was the only one to prioritze making homemade muffins in the midst of chemo treatments - it's really the simple, little things that make life grand don't you think?
I have worked with the kind of athletes you speak of. Those that only drop out of a 100+ mile race over deserts, mountains when they are forced too because they need to have medical treatment (which is an automatic disqualifier). I think even though that kind of risk does not appeal to you specifically, you are probably cut more from the same cloth than you think...
I felt similiar to you regarding your experience, lucky in a way for having such a defining and specific type of life experience. You are truly enlightened though because you seem so aware of it's place in your life even in the midst of it all. And it sounds like you have had quite a rough time with breathing issues, etc. due to the Bleomycin possibly? What I have realized now that I am past the treatment and in the remission phase is that I loved the slowness of having cancer. Kind of felt like an old fashioned life in a way?? No one put great pressures on you to do all these things or go all these places...or check your voicemail!!If they did, we could just pull out "the card" anyway...WE had an infant baby too at the time, so it allowed us time to just be, with not too many of life's pressures or expectations and that in itself was wonderful!
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